happy in malta

Just some thoughts #6 | WHERE HAVE I BEEN?

Posted on Posted in Just some thoughts

Hey there, so I’m sorry I just disappeared. I’m made at myself for doing that because I was doing so good but my creativity ran dry and then I got distracted. I apologize but I am back. Hi. I wanted to post a good post today but I have a lot on my mind so I wanted to do a JST.

First of all, this morning my friends and I were talking about resting b**** faces and I was like I don’t have one, I’m happy about that and then my friend told me I did! I always see all this stuff about RBF and I’ve always’s been like man, I’m happy I don’t have one. Idk, I liked the idea that I didn’t always look angry BUT APPARENTLY I DO! My life has been one big lie. lol. Just thought I’d share that.

Any who, I’m really stressed lately. It’s weird because I didn’t realize I was stressed…. weird, I know. I’ve been having stressful dreams in my sleep and continuously waking up in a scare that I am late for something. Then today during class I felt an anxiety attack coming on and I had to tune out from class (the class before an exam may I add) and focus on my breathing because the room was getting really claustrophobic and I was afraid I was going to freak the eff out. I don’t know if its that I am stressed about the fact that my semester is significantly easier than any other semester I’ve ever had so I’m subconsciously nervous that I am messing up and missing work. Or if it’s the fact that I don’t have a job after graduation yet and I am trying so hard and nothing is seeming to work out and that makes me really sad and really f****** scared. Lately, I just kind of feel like a failure on the post-graduation front. It’s probably both of them. To top it off money is so tight and I feel like whenever I get paid for work it goes right to utilities or groceries and I HATE BEING AN ADULT HOLY COW. I JUST WANT TO BUY FLIGHTS TO FUN PLACES AND CUTE SHOES IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK.

hahaha sorry.

Kind of unrelated but also kind of related, I want to start meditating because today in class we had to make a How To presentation and my friend Matt did “How to Meditate” and it really sparked my interest. I want to start but I share a room and I feel like it would be so strange to just sit there meditating while Amber is just like chilling in her bed 5 feet away from me hahah. I don’t know, maybe I’ll try it out sometime when she’s at class, I’ll keep ya updated.

OH another big thing, last week I went Vegan! I decided for my HC article to try out being vegan for a week and report my findings. I did this for a few reasons but mainly I did it because I was genuinely interested and I know doing it for Her Campus would hold me accountable. I am so intrigued with the idea of veganism and have been for a while now. Not only do I love the idea of helping the animals with no voice or choice but I love the aura and energy of vegans. I watch a bunch of vegans on YouTube (so I guess I don’t know them personally but you know what I mean) and their personalities and morals are really attractive to me. I didn’t think this would be too hard for me because I already don’t eat dairy due to stomach issues but I LOVE EGGS (i like… eggs <— lemme know if you know what this is from). I’m not going to go too much into detail about my experience right now because once my article gets published I am going to post it here too so stay tuned for that!

Oh my golly, 19 days until spring break.

Today’s interesting. I’m really not in the best mood in the world but I am trying so hard to turn my day around and think positively. I’m just kind of in a funk right now and some things have happened that aren’t exactly positively impacting said funk. Not trying to get pity, I’m just saying.

That being said, today is Brittany’s birthday and we’re going out to dinner for that and I just found out that I am receiving the Bite cosmetics VoxBox and I’m pumped about that. Just trying to look on the brighter side of today because you can always find something to be happy about.

SPEAKING OF, I want to try going a week without complaining at all and if it’s not too hard then an entire month. I hate hearing myself complain or listening to people who complain up the wazoo so I am going to try to better myself in this sense. Should be interesting.

I think that’s about it…

Thanks for reading!

 

Until next time, Screen-Shot-2014-06-14-at-11.20.59-PM3

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