Here I am, struggling with slight post-christmas depression and working up the motivation to be ever so slightly productive. Today is the day after Christmas so a lot of this post will probably be about Christmas Eve and Christmas day. Christmas Eve began wonderfully because for once, my parents didn’t make me get up super early to begin cleaning and prepping our house for the party. I still don’t know why they let me sleep until almost 11 but they did and I really wasn’t about to argue with that. My mom had to work Christmas Eve so my dad and I had to get the house ready but it really wasn’t all too bad except for the part that involved me running out to get stuff constantly. I think I made 4 different trips but luckily we live close to everything in our town so that wasn’t a big deal.
Our family members began arriving around 5, which felt really early. We hung out and then we got TO EAT. We have a family tradition that we have homemade tortellinis every Christmas Eve and they are so good I am already looking forward to next Christmas Eve to eat them again (kidding but not really). We make them over thanksgiving break and then freeze them and they are seriously the most delicious things ever. We did that, swapped gifts and then went and played some pool and darts and foosball and it was a jolly time. Around this time friends began coming over, which is always so nice and never fails to make me extremely happy. Then, since my older brother Sean and his girlfriend go to see her family for Christmas day, we swapped gifts with them before they left. They gave me a present that seriously almost brought me to tears, I loved it that much. The first part of it was an AirBnB gift card, which was just super nice and will definitely be put to excellent use. The second part was huge so I was a little confused at first but when I opened it I was literally speechless.
This paper, which I am sure appears to look like a poster, is actually the cover page to a New York City Atlas book from 1931. This is handwritten and the actual cover, not some duplicate, which means I am the only person who has this. Today, I am actually going to go and try to get this framed because it deserves to be framed really well. I just couldn’t get over how thoughtful this present was so Sean or Brooke if you happen to be reading this, thank you so so so much it means so much to me.
Christmas morning was wonderful as well. Yes, Christmas is about more than presents, I get that but like getting presents is also really fun and I think people try to deny that which I find weird. I love Christmas for spending time with my family and the feeling of the holiday but like I am not going to deny that I also love opening presents, sue me. Now, I pretty much tell my mom what I need or want for Christmas but she is a saint and will usually try to surprise us in some way. This year I basically knew I was just getting money because sadly, that’s what I needed but my mom told me she had a surprise for me. When I opened it I saw this colorful box and was like hmmm why does this look familiar but just opened it regardless to see a gold chain. My mom then told me she bought it for me when she came to visit in Italy and got it from a shop on the Ponte Vecchio… I broke out crying (happy tears of course). My mom also got me a gold pendant to go on it that is so beautiful and says “To travel is to live”. It was seriously the most perfect gift ever and I am so so so thankful.
After we swapped gifts, we went to my grandmothers house and then went to my Aunts house and then came home and watched Polar Express (again because it is my favorite christmas movie). Oh, and then my mom and I watched some other movie which was alright.
Yeah, so Christmas was absolutely amazing. I am so crazy thankful for my family and friends in my life. I really am so #BLESSED.
On a completely opposite note, I think I want to start doing something pretty special on TheBrookeBook. I’ve just been realizing lately how important it is to let people know how you feel about them whether that is a family member or some cute boy. That’s why, I’ve been playing with the idea of adding a new segment to my blog. I don’t know if I am really going to do this but I have been thinking about maybe once a week posting a letter to someone really important in my life and maybe even sometimes to people who hurt me or were mean to me but not addressing them to the actual person. So these would be letters but they wouldn’t have a name on them. I just thought it would be kind of interesting to do and probably pretty therapeutic. The reason I am not sure if I want to do it or not is because that is pretty darn personal. Maybe I just wouldn’t advertise these posts on my social media though, I would just post them and if people happened to read them they do… that’s not a terrible idea. Hmm. The reason I bring this up is because the other day I was writing in my journal (yes, I have a journal leave me alone) and I decided to write out an entire texting conversation with this guy. I had this conversation saved in my phone because this man was very VERY hurtful and disrespectful to me. You might be like, well why would you want to save that conversation then? I think I want to keep it because I have NEVER in my life been talked to like that, never mind by a “man”. I think him speaking to me like that, telling me “your life doesn’t matter” and that I’m “nothing”, just a “slut with no morals” made me learn a lot about myself. Made me really toughen up mentally because I can’t deny that it did absolutely crush me being called this stuff. I was writing all this in my journal and I kinda freaked out and wrote a huge “F*** YOU ______”. I took a breath and kinda laughed at myself because it was just funny because I was so composed and I just lost it all of a sudden. That made me realized how much I was still holding this in and so I want these letters to the amazing people in my life and to the terrible people in my life to let me get these emotions out on “paper”. Maybe that’s a weird idea and too much personal info on the internet but I am kinda in a weird limbo right now where I don’t know how personal to get on my blog. It’s my personal blog so I feel like I can put whatever but I also think I do need to keep somethings to myself and away from strangers all over the world. But, I guess at the same time, the really really personal things are in my journal or even just in my head because I can’t even put them on paper.
WOW this is all over the place, again.
I don’t get a lot of comments on my posts, which is fine but if you are reading this could you please tell me what you think? Anonymously, I don’t care. Do you think I should cut back on my personal thoughts a bit or just be completely vulnerable and go for it?
I think that’s about it.
Just some thoughts.