I’d like to say I’ve always been the kind of person who doesn’t always need people around, but that would be lying.
I don’t think it was until this past summer that I discovered my love of being alone. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE being around friends as much as I can but there is something so extremely special of being by yourself every once in a while.
A little back story: this past summer I went to a state where I knew absolutely no one. This forced me out of my comfort zone in more ways than one. One huge thing, is that I would go and explore… completely alone. Doing this, gave me my first taste of pure solitude. Once the summer was over, I realized that solitude was sometime I craved again so to fulfill that need, I began going on drives down roads I had never been and getting lost on purpose. Sometimes when I was desperate for it, I would even just sit in my car at night after work, recline my seat, and look at the night sky through my sunroof. Now that I am in Florence, I have also begun to incorporate this into my italian life by doing simple things like walking to class a new way or even something as small as going shopping alone.
Just tonight, two of my roommates that I was hanging out with earlier in the day decided to make the 40 minute walk to go to a food truck festival, since I haven’t been feeling all that well, I decided to pass on that today and just relax. I realized I needed to get outside because the weather was unbelievable so I went and sat on the wall of the Arno River. I brought some light reading with me but I mainly just sat. I sat without music, without (constant) texting, I sat.
You would think this is my time to sit and be deep and reflect on life and I guess yeah, I sometimes do that… but not always. Most of the time I just like to enjoy the peace. This summer was when I realized that after I had gone out and explored alone or gone out to dinner alone (yes, I did this) I would come back and feel so at peace with myself and my life and it was one of the best feelings. If I can make myself this happy when I am completely alone, why am I not doing this more often?
I can honestly feel myself growing as a person since I have discovered this. I am not saying I like being a hermit or recommend being a hermit, rather I am saying to embrace being alone sometimes. Without even trying, I have gotten rid of so much negativity in my life whether it is people or situations. It’s funny, because I have fixed parts of my life and parts of my self without even actively trying… it just happened. Since I have discovered this, I have realized that I have been the happiest I have ever been. I am so utterly happy with my life.
Until next time,